Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Sunday, February 3, 2013

10 Ways To Help Out Your Chronically Ill Friend

This is a fantastic post written by Jenna at http://fibromyalgiaproblems.tumblr.com/ 

1. Don't pull away when they talk about their illness.
Especially if they’re recently diagnosed, they’re not doing it for attention. They’re not doing it for pity, they’re doing it because a diagnosis and an illness are a HUGE thing in a sick person’s life, it’s something to talk about. Just listen, you really don’t have to say anything else. Just be someone they can talk to. 

2.  Do research about their Illness/Illnesses.
Nothing is harder than trying to explain what it’s like dealing with a chronic illness to a healthy person. It’s like explaining color to a blind person. If you know what illness they have, do some research, find out what it is, what symptoms they deal with, and even how other people with the same illness deal with it and describe it. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. 

3. Offer help 
Okay, this one gets complicated. You certainly don’t want to make your ill friend feel bad about not being able to do things. Also, we tend to refuse help. Not always out of pride, but out of fear that people will get tired of helping us or dealing with us.(Like they often do!) So, if you know that something is hard for them(lifting objects, opening doors, opening bottles, carrying groceries) offer help in a way that makes it clear you really want to help, not that you “feel obligated” and also, if your friend says they can handle something, let them. Yes opening bottles hurt, but sometimes we get so frustrated with what we can and can not do that we’re wiling to put up with some pain because we just want to do something for ourselves if we can manage it.

4. Accompany them to Doctors Appointments, or offer to help schedule appointments.
 Scheduling doctors appointments is *such* a hassle with chronic illnesses. Most of us see many doctors, or need to see many doctors, so it can be hard calling all around trying to schedule appointments.
Doctors appointments are also a stressful thing, and it can be nice to have a friend accompany you. It is also hard for many sick people to drive to their own appointments  Your friend may not want you in the exam room with them, but offering to drive them and sit with them in the waiting room could be a *HUGE* help.

5. Understand that they may need to cancel plans last minute, and be okay with rescheduling.
Chronic illnesses are often so unpredictable. We can be doing okay one minute, and in excruciating, unable to move pain the next. Just remember your friend isn’t canceling to stand you up, but because they really need to. Or, remember that sometimes we can’t plan things in the first place. It’s not that we don’t want to go out with friends, we really, really do, but sometimes we’re not healthy enough to have time left over from work or school or doctors appointments or just cooking/cleaning to do anything else.  

6. Go to them, rather than them having to get out. 
Getting out of the house always is hard with a chronic illness. It’s hard to drive, it’s hard to walk far, it’s hard to sit in uncomfortable chairs, it’s hard to be away when we might need our self-care resources we have at home and could need if our health takes a turn for the worse, and it’s hard going places where you don’t know what to expect. Instead of trying to go out to dinner or to a movie or something, go visit them at home and bring take out or cook food, and rent a movie, just have a more quiet night where you can still spend time without your friend having to straining their health. 

7. Try to match their level of humor about their illness.
Some people don’t joke about their illness, so obviously this doesn’t apply so much with them, but a lot of us do. I’m sarcastic ALL the time about little things, I’m constantly joking about my illness, and usually it just weirds my healthy friends out. I still remember the first time a friend make a funny comment about an illness, I take a lot of salt for low blood pressure, and we were watching a documentary talking about how the Mediteranian Sea will eventually be a salt desert, and she said “Jenna! You should live there!” 

8. Don't insist they the new "Miracle Cure."
We try a lot of treatments. Most of them don’t work, or do much at all. We get tired of hearing “Oh my aunt’s sister’s cousin had your illness and drank vinegar-water and now she’s all better! I’m sure it would work for you!” because chances are we’ve tried it and it didn’t work, or we’ve tried something similar and know it won’t work. If you’re doing research or come across a treatment, now and then, it’s okay to say “Have you ever heard of____?” But don’t chastise someone for having a reason not to try that treatment, whatever it is.

9. Don't assume they'll get better.
I know it’s hard to see someone you care about have to be sick all the time, and to know they’re not going to get better. It’s hard for us too. But that’s life, and it just needs to be accepted. You have to accept the fact that there is no cure for most chronic illnesses. That’s why we call them chronic. We don’t have to give up trying to find solutions for certain symptoms, but there aren’t any real “fixes.” In most cases, we just aren’t going to be healthy again, ever.

10. Remember they're still just people.
Sick people always talk about not letting their illness “define them.” It becomes a huge part of your life, obviously. When your friend wants to talk about their illness, let them. When it comes up, be okay with talking about it. But don’t bring it up all the time. We can never “forget” we’re sick, but sometimes it’s nice to act normal and healthy. You have a friend with an illness, but that isn’t all they are, they’re still your friend- a person with so, so much more to them than what they deal with.

aand also: READ THE SPOON THEORY!
It’s a brilliant description of how we have to think and plan our lives around illnesses.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

It's been awhile...

It's been a while since I have written in this blog. So much has gone on and happened, and I'm exhausted just thinking about all I need to update on. So, I'm just going to touch base on some of the most important things right now.

Dan and I have broken up, as in for good. It happened in October. It completely broke my heart, and I didn't think I was going to survive and make it. I really didn't. He is now back in Massachusetts, and I am still here in the apartment. I miss him, but I miss him more as a friend then anything else.

I am seeing someone else now. His name is Randy, and he has been wonderful to me so far. He truly cares and he does so much for me. I worry that all of my problems will eventually wear on him, as that always seems to happen, but I'm trying not to think that way. I really love him, he's so wonderful.

My body is in horrid shape. Due to transportation and money issues, I have not been able to get to any of my appointments. It sucks because I had finally gotten a good medical support team down here, and was getting what my body needed. So I'm not doing so well physically now, but hopefully we'll figure something out soon. I know Randy is trying to help me figure it out as well.

That's just a quick note to get you all caught up. I will try to do better with this blog again, but please bear with me.

Hope everyone is doing well!

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Stress Overload

I am completely and 100% in stress overload mode. If there was something to go wrong, it has in the past few days.

The biggest problem, is, of course related to my medical care. My insurance copays are going up, like ridiculously. Some of my medications are going to be $75! My doctor copays are going up a lot too, different amounts depending on what type of doctor/specialist they are.

I have finally started to get a network of doctors/specialists and medications to get me feeling at least a bit better, and now I may lose all of that because I can't afford the huge copays. I already owe hundreds of dollars to various medical places.

I can not get any kind of assistance because I am a college student. (Apparently that makes you ineligible for anything and everything here in Maine.) I can not seem to find a job that I can physically handle.

This is just too upsetting. I've been depressed, stressed, and anxious since finding this out. I don't know what to do, and all I feel like doing lately is crying. It just isn't fair.

This is probably a crappy explanation of it all, but I just don't have enough in me right now to write a proper post. Feel free to ask questions. Or give advice, I'd greatly appreciate that!

Monday, July 25, 2011

The Wolf Story

A man told his grandson, “A terrible fight, between two wolves, is going on inside of us. One is evil & represents hate, anger, arrogance, intolerance & superiority. The other is good and represents joy, peace, love, tolerance, understanding, humility, kindness, empathy, generosity & compassion.”

“Which wolf will win?”, the grandson asked.

The old man replied, “The one you feed.”

Friday, July 15, 2011

"healKick: Support and Friendship" - Guest Post by Rachael




First of all, I want to thank Sarah for letting me hijack her blog today. My name is Rachael and I met Sarah at healKick.com which just so happens to be exactly what I want to talk to you about today! It’s a social network for young people who have neuro-immune illnesses like Fibromyalgia, it’s like a support group but it’s so much more.

Have you ever felt alone, like no one understands what you’re going through? Have you lost friends since becoming sick? Do you struggle to find peers you can relate to? This used to be the story of my life. I have been at least marginally sick for the majority of my life but the symptoms didn’t interfere with my life until I was 14. After being diagnosed with Fibro (and other conditions) it was hard not to feel completely different than my peers. After all, they could seemingly do whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted. They didn’t seem to suffer after a late night or ache for days after overdoing physical activity. I tried my hardest to fit in, to suck it up, to do what they did. In the end I had to take a step back and realize that in order to heal I had to take time off and let my body have a break. The hardest part for me was that this break involved giving up work and school, two things that previously defined me. Without them, I didn’t know who I was. Without them, I didn’t relate anymore and I lost the close friendships that I previously had.

I didn’t know if I was ever going to have close friends again until the day that I stumbled across healKick. I had tried other online groups before but never felt a connection to the usernames and comments. I wanted more human connection and I especially wanted to connect with people my own age on levels other than a shared medical problem. This site is so special to me because for the first time I feel like I am being validated as an entire person, not just a syndrome or condition. The site allows people to go beyond a conversation about shared symptoms or a new treatment and develop genuine friendships.

At the risk of sounding like an advertisement, I want to mention a few of the things that make healKick unique and wonderful. We have an instant messaging chat bar that allows you to talk to anyone on the site in a group chat or private chat. Recently we added a group voice/video chat feature that accommodates up to 20 members at the same time. You can choose the site’s language which allows users around the world to connect with one another. There is a member map you can search to find people in your area. Also there is a points system so you can earn prizes just by being an active member of the site. And every Friday we host a virtual movie night where everyone watches the same movie and then uses the IM feature to chat about it.

Like I said before, healKick is a social network for young adults 18 to 40 with neuro-immune illnesses. There are many people on the site with Fibro, but we also have members with ME/CFS, Chronic Lyme, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Lupus, Sarcoidosis, Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, Multiple Sclerosis, Multiple Chemical Sensitivity, and Mold-related Illness.
It’s a place that goes above and beyond a traditional support group by encouraging members to share about their lives beyond their illness and their personality rather than just their symptoms. Regular support group’s members are from all stages of life but have the same condition. HealKick is different because it brings together people with different but similar conditions who all are in the same stage of life.

If you have ever felt isolated because of your illness, you don’t have to anymore. Come join us today at healKick. It helped me and I hope it will help you just as much.

I can’t wait to meet you!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Love This Quote.





"You know as well as I do it's not about what you look like, or your job, or how successful you are. It's about having people in your life that you love and who love you... that's all that matters." ~ Grey's Anatomy


Friday, June 10, 2011

Update On My Knee

So as you all know, I have been having problems with my knee for forever now. It looks like they have finally figured out what it is, but it also looks like some of the problems may actually be chronic.

The official name of my diagnosis is Pes Anserine Bursitis. It basically means that the pes anserine bursa (located right below the knee) is inflamed. While although it can be calmed down, it can also flare again whenever it pleases. When it flares it is some of the worst pain I've ever been in, even worse then most of my fibro pain. It gets to the point where just bending and straightening my knee hurts, let alone walking.

My physical therapist, Scott, has been working hard on getting it to calm back now. I don't know the names of all the different kinds of treatments he has been trying, but they are seeming to help, at least some. I just hope I don't have to go back for a cortisone shot, those things kill me, in so many ways.

I'm really not excited...just another diagnosis to add to my list, and yet even another one that can flare whenever it wants....*sigh*

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Fulfillment.

Fulfillment. Something we all want in life. We want to feel like we are doing something with our lives. We want to feel like we are making a difference. We want to have some sort of rewarding experiences.

This is something I am struggling with lately. I feel like I am doing nothing in my life. I realize in some ways that this is not true, because I am going to school so that I can someday do something. I am going to become a counselor and I do believe that that will be a truly rewarding career.

But right now, I feel like I am doing nothing. I feel like I sit on my computer all day, and the most I ever seem to do is schoolwork. Sure, sometimes I hang out with my friends and all, but honestly, I really don't do much in general. I just feel so unfulfilled. I need a job I can handle, or a hobby, or just something. I want to feel like I am doing something with my life, I want to feel like I am making some sort of difference in one way or another.

Any helps/thoughts/tips?

Friday, August 13, 2010

Life goes on.

This has not been the funnest of weeks. I mean, there have been worse ones, but this one was just up there.

So, the worst part was Tuesday night. Tuesday night, I took all my nighttime meds as usually, including my Lunesta (sleeping pill) and went to bed. Unfortunately, sleep was just not in my cards apparently. It was bad. I laid in bed for hours, just trying to sleep, but it wouldn't happen. Then, after awhile, I ended up quite sick. Like vomitting sick. Apparently, when you take a sleeping pill and it doesn't wear off, it makes you quite sick. So that was not fun. Then, around 9am or so, I got even sicker. Like weak, dizzy, nauseous, exhausted, extreme pain, etc. And it was so bad that I all I could do was lay in bed, I could barely move. And I couldn't seem to fall asleep. Eventually, I did for like 2 hours. To say that the rest of Wednesdeay was a day from hell, would be an understatement.

Luckily, I've gotten more sleep since then. But everything is so damn stressful right now. Money issues would be the worst. We just don't have the money we need for everything. We're trying so hard, and we've gotten better at not "wasting" money, but still, ends never seem to meet. I need to find a job I can handle, preferably a work from home job, but this just does not seem to be happening, and it's SO damn frustrating. I just want things to work out.

I'm trying not to, but I feel like I am losing hope. I am losing in hope in ever feeling better. I am losing in hope in things working out finanically. I am losing hope in things working out period. But without hope, seriously, whatever am I going to do?

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Yesterday's Adventures

(Side note: This is my 50th blog post, go me.)

So yesterday, Dan and I went to Gorham to visit Kyndra and Mike. It was pretty warm out so we went swimming at the neighbor's pool. Not long after we got in, we heard thunder. We decided to risk our lives until it got really bad. So it was pouring and thundering and lightning, and we were still swimming. (Yes we are insane.) After about an hour or so, we went back inside and played some Wii. We had planned on having a barbeque and since that's still we had to eat, so we had one anyways. Poor Mike was out grilling in the pouring rain and thunderstorms. Afterwards, we went downstairs and played more Wii, until the power went out. Kyndra's mom called and told her that a tornado had touched down not far away at all. I checked the weather on my phone, and sure enough, we had a tornado warning. So we stayed in the basement til it passed. We were all ok, but it sure was scary! It was my first ever experience with a tornado, and trust me, it was enough for a lifetime!

So that was my adventures from yesterday. All the weather changes and such have sure wreaked havoc on my body. Pain is through the roof, and I've had such a headache from the pressure changes. Gotta love it, only not.

Not much else to say today really, just wanted to chronicle my eventful day.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Fibromyalgia Awareness Day

So, today is May 12th, Fibromyalgia Awareness Day. (And as a sidenote, I'm annoyed that I just had to add fibromyalgia to my computer's dictionary.)

I'm not doing much for awareness this year. I have my awareness t-shirt on, but I'm not really leaving the house today. I have no real need to. Last year, I cut up ribbons and made purple ribbons and passed them out to various places. Could of done that this year, but quite frankly, I just don't have the energy.

Ahhh fibro. What to say about it? What to say about a disease that has literally taken my life away? A disease that has made me feel much older then I am? A disease that has changed everything I've ever known?

It has completely and absolutely changed everything for me. I'm 21 years old, and most days I feel like I am at least 80. I have a hard time going out or doing fun things that I used to do, my body just can't handle it. I'm in constant pain, worse pain then I could have ever even imagined before it, and am so exhausted, no matter how much or how little I sleep. My life is not my own anymore, it has been taken over by some kind of horrible monster. A monster who has taken my life away, and left me with this, which sometimes I can't even call a life. Most days it just doesn't feel like it.

But I'm not gonna give up. I can do this. There is hope. I must remember that. Someday, things will get better. Right?

#Fibromyalgia Awareness Day 2010

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Not Feeling It.

I haven't written in here in forever. This is very hard to keep up with, I don't know why. But I just never seem to have the time or energy to write in this.

Anyways, I had tremendous nerve pain for a while, my I had a tooth where a piece was broken off and the nerve was exposed. It caused the worst pain I have ever had in my life. I even ended up in the ER one night because the pain was so bad. They numbed the nerve which was the best thing for me. It gave me one night of sleep at least. I didn't sleep for like a week because the pain was so bad. Anyways, today I finally had the tooth pulled, so I'm hoping that'll be the end of the pain.

Work is getting too much for me, physically. I am in so much pain and so exhausted after a shift. And I don't know what to do about it. I can't stop working, because if I do we won't have enough money to live. But if I keep working, I just keep getting sicker and sicker. Fibro is not usually a condition that worsens, but I'm convinced mine is. What I really need is some sort of desk job or work at home job or something, but I'll be damned if I find anything.

*sighs* I'm just not happy with the way life is going lately.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

A Letter From Fibromyalgia

A LETTER FROM FIBROMYALGIA

Dear Miserable Human Being,

Hi, my name is Fibromyalgia, and I'm an invisible chronic illness. I am now ‘velcroed’ to you for life. Others around you can't see me or hear me, but YOUR body feels me. I can attack you anywhere and anyway I please. I can cause severe pain, or if I am in a good mood, I can just cause you to ache all over.

Remember when you and Energy ran around together and had fun? I took Energy from you and gave you Exhaustion. Just try to have fun now! I also took Good Sleep from you and in its place gave you Fibro Fog (a.k.a.)Brain Fog.

I can make you tremble internally or make you feel cold or hot when everyone else feels normal. Oh yeah, I can make you feel anxious or depressed, too. If you have something planned, or are looking forward to a great day, I can take that away too. You didn't ask for me. I chose you for various reasons: that virus you had that you never quite recovered from, or that car accident, or childbirth, the death of a loved one, or maybe it was those years of abuse and trauma.

Well, anyway, I'm here to stay! I hear you're going to see a doctor who can get rid of me. I'm ‘ROFL’ (rolling on the floor laughing)! Just try! You will have to go to many, many doctors until you find one who can help you effectively. In fact, you'll see many doctors who tell you ‘it’s all in your head’ (or some version of that). If you do find a doctor willing to treat this ‘non-disease’, you will be put on pain pills, sleeping pills, and energy pills. You will be told you are suffering from anxiety or depression, given a TENS unit, told if you just sleep and exercise properly, I will go away. You'll be told to think positively, poked, prodded, and most of all, you will not be taken seriously when you cry to the doctor how debilitating life is for you every single day!


Your family, friends, and coworkers will all listen to you until they just get tired of hearing about how I make you feel, and that I'm a debilitating disease. Some of them will say things like "Oh, you're just having a bad day", or "Well, remember, you cant expect to do the things you used to do 20 years ago," not hearing that you said "20 DAYS ago"! Some will just start talking behind your back, while you slowly feel that you are losing your dignity, trying to make them understand, especially when you are in the middle of a conversation with a ‘normal’ person, and can't remember what you were going to say next!


In closing, you've probably figured out that the ONLY place you will get any real support and understanding in dealing with me is with Other People With Fibromyalgia! They are the only ones that will understand your complaints of unrelenting pain, insomnia, fibro fog, the inability to perform the everyday tasks that ‘normal people’ take for granted.
Remember, I'm stuck to you like Velcro – and I expect we'll be together for the rest of your life.

Have a nice day!! (ROFL),

Fibromyalgia

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Friday, October 23, 2009

Unwell - Matchbox 20

[This song was not written about someone with a chronic illness, but if you look at it from that point of view, it definitely makes alot of sense. Or maybe that's just me.]

All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me

I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

Yeah, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Quotes

Since I've been realllly bad and not updated my quotes journal in forever, and nobody probably checks it anymore, I think I'm just gonna post some quotes here. Enjoy!

"A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down." ~ Arnold H. Glasgow

" Everybody is gifted; it's just that some people never open the package." ~ Unknown

"You can fail so very often. But you are not a failure until you give up."

"Never be afraid to try, remember...Amateurs built the ark, Professionals built the Titanic." – Unknown

"A hug can lift pain and worries from the heart. Bringing hope and love back into the heart". - Nicole Strange

"Go for it now. The future is promised to no one." - Wayne Dyer

"Why are trying so hard to fit in, when you're born to stand out" — Oliver James

"God gives us dreams a size too big so that we can grow in them." ~Unknown

"It's hard to beat a person who never gives up." ~ Babe Ruth

"Love is not finding someone to live with. It's finding someone you can't live without." — Rafael Ortiz

"Never let anyone tell you that you can't; show them that you can." — Gloria Mallette

"Love is not blind; it simply allows us to see the beauty in everything."— Michelle D. Pierce

"There is nothing more beautiful than believing in yourself."— Sam Kao

"When you love someone you let them take care of you."— Jodi Picoult

"Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines." ~ Robert H. Schuller

"Anyone can hide. Facing up to things, working through them, that's what makes you strong." — Sarah Dessen

“If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way; if you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.” - Frank Banks

"There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up." — John Holmes

"Life isn't a matter of milestones, but of moments." - Rose Kennedy

“Just as hope rings through laughter, it can also shine through tears.” ~ Maya Angelou

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Complaining

Ok, so this post needs to be done, because I can't stop complaining lately it seems, so maybe if I get it out on here, it will help me shut up about it! lol.

But seriously, I just haven't been feeling life lately. I feel so crappy most of the time, whether its extreme fatigue, extreme pain, or both. I feel like my body and my life is not my own anymore. It's like it has been taken over by some horrible creature or something. I have so many ambitions for things I want to do, and then never ever seem to have the energy to complete them. Sometimes even simple things like getting out of bed is too much for me. What kind of life is this? Seriously, what did I do to deserve such a horrible thing happening to me?

I'm not one who wants people to feel sorry for me, or to pity me, I'm really not. But sometimes I just wish people would understand. People just don't understand what its like. And so many people think that its just all in our heads. I WISH! I wish it was something all in my head so that I could just go to a psychiatrist, get counseling and medication, and then it would all be gone! That's so much better then knowing you have to live with this for the rest of your life.

And while I'm on that topic, isn't that just a cheery thought? I have no real hope for this to get better or to go away. I try to remain hope that they will find a cure or just an effect treatment in my lifetime, but really, what if they don't? I have to live like this the rest of my life? How is that even living? I know I sure don't feel like I'm living most of the time.

I want help, and I need help. I need to go see specialists. Too bad that the closest one to me is forever away and not covered by insurance. No way in this world I can afford that. So oh well. I'm just stuck. Stuck living a life that I don't want. Honestly, all I really want is my life back, is that really too much to ask?

Friday, August 14, 2009

My Life Gets Oh So Much Better....

Well my life has just continued to get even better. But let's start with the beginning.

Thursday was an ok day. I went to that job interview, and I think it went pretty well, but I still don't feel very confident about it. I didn't realize it from the ad, but its a really high-end luxury store. And I just think it wouldn't be a good fit for me, nor am I sure I could deal with such a stuffy environment. Idk, we'll wait and see if I actually get a position and worry about it then. In the meantime, I'm applying for more jobs.

Other then that, Thursday was a pretty quiet day, which was actually quite nice.

This morning I got up and went to my Reiki session. It was amazing as always. I can't get over how much better it always makes me feel, and Leslie herself is just amazing as well. She's so helpful and so great to talk to. After that, Dan and I started packing for our weekend in South China.

We got on the road and things were going fine. We were a bit over halfway there when things changed. We were just driving along on the highway and there was a car fully stopped ahead of us. No matter how hard we tried, we just could not stop in time. The brakes were slammed on but it still just wasn't enough. We hit the car in front of us which happened to be a big pickup truck. Luckily by then, we were not going TOO fast. The impact was still strong though, but luckily we weren't hurt.

To make a long story short, the towing guy took us to the garage too, and my mom came to pick us up and brought us back to South China. So now we are here, trying to make the best out of what's left of our weekend away, and trying to relax a bit before we have to deal with everything on Monday.

Well, I'm off, I'm beyond exhausted! Maybe I will actually get some sleep tonight?!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Fibromyalgia

Fibromyalgia-
The name is so complicated
And so is the disease.
Chronic pain, chronic fatigue,
Those are just the beginning.
Do you know what it feels like
To wake up and feel so much older then you are?
Do you know what it feels like
To not be able to do things everyone else does?
Do you know what it feels like
To not be able to do things you once used to?
Do you know what it feels like
To have the littlest things
Wear you out completely?
Do you know what it feels like
To have no one believe you are sick?
These are all things
That I feel every day.
My body is not my own anymore,
Something horrible has taken it over.
Can I ever win it back again?
Will I ever feel ok?
Will I ever feel normal again?