Yet again, I am not feeling life lately, but this time its because I have managed to come down with the flu. And trust me, the flu plus fibro is absolutely horrible and really just makes you wanna curl up in a ball and die. Or maybe that last part is just me. Who knows?
But anyway, I am currently on day 5 of this horrible thing and I def don't feel any better at all. And this is the weirdest flu I've ever had.The symptoms change, come and go, etc. In my memory, I've never had something like that. But I've had all the worst symptoms. Fever, headache, congestion, coughing, sore throat, dizziness, weakness, pain, stomachache, etc. You name it and I've prolly had it. And I'm pretty sure its making my fibro act up more too.
I'm pumping in the antioxidants, the vitamin c, other supplements, and fluids but nothing seems to help. I have not felt any better from day to day, and during some parts of the day I feel worse. Like I said, its a weird strain I have here.
To make matters worse, Dan is sick too, and we both have the hardest time getting things done. And I've had to take time off work, which absolutely sucks because we need the money. I'm supposed to go back tomorrow, and I think I'm going to even if I'm at death's door. We need the money that badly.
Ok I'm off. Sorry for the complaining. And sorry for any typos, I did this via my blackberry.
<3
Showing posts with label complaining. Show all posts
Showing posts with label complaining. Show all posts
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Complaining
Ok, so this post needs to be done, because I can't stop complaining lately it seems, so maybe if I get it out on here, it will help me shut up about it! lol.
But seriously, I just haven't been feeling life lately. I feel so crappy most of the time, whether its extreme fatigue, extreme pain, or both. I feel like my body and my life is not my own anymore. It's like it has been taken over by some horrible creature or something. I have so many ambitions for things I want to do, and then never ever seem to have the energy to complete them. Sometimes even simple things like getting out of bed is too much for me. What kind of life is this? Seriously, what did I do to deserve such a horrible thing happening to me?
I'm not one who wants people to feel sorry for me, or to pity me, I'm really not. But sometimes I just wish people would understand. People just don't understand what its like. And so many people think that its just all in our heads. I WISH! I wish it was something all in my head so that I could just go to a psychiatrist, get counseling and medication, and then it would all be gone! That's so much better then knowing you have to live with this for the rest of your life.
And while I'm on that topic, isn't that just a cheery thought? I have no real hope for this to get better or to go away. I try to remain hope that they will find a cure or just an effect treatment in my lifetime, but really, what if they don't? I have to live like this the rest of my life? How is that even living? I know I sure don't feel like I'm living most of the time.
I want help, and I need help. I need to go see specialists. Too bad that the closest one to me is forever away and not covered by insurance. No way in this world I can afford that. So oh well. I'm just stuck. Stuck living a life that I don't want. Honestly, all I really want is my life back, is that really too much to ask?
But seriously, I just haven't been feeling life lately. I feel so crappy most of the time, whether its extreme fatigue, extreme pain, or both. I feel like my body and my life is not my own anymore. It's like it has been taken over by some horrible creature or something. I have so many ambitions for things I want to do, and then never ever seem to have the energy to complete them. Sometimes even simple things like getting out of bed is too much for me. What kind of life is this? Seriously, what did I do to deserve such a horrible thing happening to me?
I'm not one who wants people to feel sorry for me, or to pity me, I'm really not. But sometimes I just wish people would understand. People just don't understand what its like. And so many people think that its just all in our heads. I WISH! I wish it was something all in my head so that I could just go to a psychiatrist, get counseling and medication, and then it would all be gone! That's so much better then knowing you have to live with this for the rest of your life.
And while I'm on that topic, isn't that just a cheery thought? I have no real hope for this to get better or to go away. I try to remain hope that they will find a cure or just an effect treatment in my lifetime, but really, what if they don't? I have to live like this the rest of my life? How is that even living? I know I sure don't feel like I'm living most of the time.
I want help, and I need help. I need to go see specialists. Too bad that the closest one to me is forever away and not covered by insurance. No way in this world I can afford that. So oh well. I'm just stuck. Stuck living a life that I don't want. Honestly, all I really want is my life back, is that really too much to ask?
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