It's been awhile...

It's been a while since I have written in this blog. So much has gone on and happened, and I'm exhausted just thinking about all I need to update on. So, I'm just going to touch base on some of the most important things right now.

Dan and I have broken up, as in for good. It happened in October. It completely broke my heart, and I didn't think I was going to survive and make it. I really didn't. He is now back in Massachusetts, and I am still here in the apartment. I miss him, but I miss him more as a friend then anything else.

I am seeing someone else now. His name is Randy, and he has been wonderful to me so far. He truly cares and he does so much for me. I worry that all of my problems will eventually wear on him, as that always seems to happen, but I'm trying not to think that way. I really love him, he's so wonderful.

My body is in horrid shape. Due to transportation and money issues, I have not been able to get to any of my appointments. It sucks because I had finally gotten a good medical support team down here, and was getting what my body needed. So I'm not doing so well physically now, but hopefully we'll figure something out soon. I know Randy is trying to help me figure it out as well.

That's just a quick note to get you all caught up. I will try to do better with this blog again, but please bear with me.

Hope everyone is doing well!

Trying To Be Normal

I've been trying to be "normal" lately, as in, doing all the things that other people can do. Dan and I have been doing some crazy cleaning because my mom is coming to visit. It's so exhausting. I've been way over-doing it lately, and seem to be in a flare most of the time. But what am I to do? Things have to get done whether I can do them or not. It doesn't matter. Dan can't do it all himself either. He has joint issues so he's in pain a lot too. We just have to do it, push ourselves, and end up making ourselves worse. It's my attempt at being normal, and I'm failing drastically.

In other news, I have been shaking a lot lately, like my fingers are shaking. I don't know what's up with that. Yesterday it was so bad that I actually felt sick. I ended up eating chocolate and drinking gatorade. I wasn't sure if it was low blood sugar or dehydration, so I tried them both. One or the other, or both, worked. My guess would be dehydration, because that happens to me a lot, plus I've never had trouble with blood sugar. So idk.

I'm back in PT for my knee. I'm seeing a new therapist because the last one was horrible and didn't even believe in fibro. This one believes in it and has experience in it, so I think it'll help. He wants to try this thing called "Instrument Assisted Soft Tissue Mobilization" because my tissue is all stuck and whatnot. Sure, I don't care at this point, just make me better lol.

Ok, I guess that's it for now. Sorry it's been so long since an update, I'll try to do better.

So Bad At This...

I'm so bad at updating this blog lately. I'm just so exhausted and don't ever seem to have the time or energy to do it. But it's been long enough now, so here it goes.

I got a job. I'm now a Sales Associate at Toys R Us. As far as that type of job goes, it's pretty cool, and I absolutely love the people I work with. Everyone is good friends and talks and jokes and whatnot. Makes the work environment much better, especially compared to my last job at East Coast Marketing. The only downside though is that it is EXHAUSTING me. I feel dead after every shift, and usually end up feeling sick during work. I get so tired. And tonight, my pain has been extreme. But there really isn't much I can do about it. We need the money, so I have to endure.

My doctor has put me on Savella, which I'm hoping will make some kind of difference. So far I'm not on the normal dosage yet, I'm still on the increasing dosages. Or however you word that. I haven't noticed too much change yet, though I haven't felt any negative side effects either, so that's a plus. I just hope it really does make some sort of positive difference, because honestly, I'm going crazy.

I'm also really upset that my facebook group hasn't taken off like I had hoped for it too. Don't get me wrong, many people have joined, but donations are at a minimum. I know times are hard, but I'm just so frustrated. I really really really want/need this treatment, and I just have no way of getting it. I'm not mad at anyone, just at the situation. I don't feel like its fair that I can't get the treatment that I need in order to live my life.

Well, that's it for now. Just a short update.

<3 you all!

Complaining

Ok, so this post needs to be done, because I can't stop complaining lately it seems, so maybe if I get it out on here, it will help me shut up about it! lol.

But seriously, I just haven't been feeling life lately. I feel so crappy most of the time, whether its extreme fatigue, extreme pain, or both. I feel like my body and my life is not my own anymore. It's like it has been taken over by some horrible creature or something. I have so many ambitions for things I want to do, and then never ever seem to have the energy to complete them. Sometimes even simple things like getting out of bed is too much for me. What kind of life is this? Seriously, what did I do to deserve such a horrible thing happening to me?

I'm not one who wants people to feel sorry for me, or to pity me, I'm really not. But sometimes I just wish people would understand. People just don't understand what its like. And so many people think that its just all in our heads. I WISH! I wish it was something all in my head so that I could just go to a psychiatrist, get counseling and medication, and then it would all be gone! That's so much better then knowing you have to live with this for the rest of your life.

And while I'm on that topic, isn't that just a cheery thought? I have no real hope for this to get better or to go away. I try to remain hope that they will find a cure or just an effect treatment in my lifetime, but really, what if they don't? I have to live like this the rest of my life? How is that even living? I know I sure don't feel like I'm living most of the time.

I want help, and I need help. I need to go see specialists. Too bad that the closest one to me is forever away and not covered by insurance. No way in this world I can afford that. So oh well. I'm just stuck. Stuck living a life that I don't want. Honestly, all I really want is my life back, is that really too much to ask?

Herbs That Provide Natural Pain Relief

By: Jacob Teitelbaum

Many natural therapies can be very helpful for pain. My three favorite pain relieving herbals are willow bark, boswellia, and tart cherry. All three of these can be found in combination in the End Fatigue Pain Formula by Integrative Therapeutics. Begin with 2-4 tabs 2-3 times a day as needed until maximum benefit is achieved (approximately 4-6 weeks) and then you can use the lowest effective dose. Let's look at these three herbals.

Willow bark is the original source of aspirin, but when used as the entire herb it has been found to be much safer and quite effective. The active ingredient is salicin, and willow bark has been shown to be effective in both osteoarthritis and back pain. People who are severely allergic to aspirin (e.g., aspirin induced asthma or anaphylaxes — which is very unusual) should not use willow bark. Like aspirin and Celebrex, it acts as a COX (Cyclooxygenase enzyme) inhibitor, decreasing inflammation. There are clearly a combination of other factors in willow bark that markedly enhance its effectiveness and safety—which can be a major benefit over aspirin and NSAIDs (e.g., Motrin®) which cause an enormous amount of gastritis and ulcer bleeding, to the point of killing 15,000-20,000 Americans yearly! The studies on willow bark are quite consistent in their effectiveness in reducing pain. Let's look at some of the research.

In one study, 210 patients with severe chronic low back pain were randomly assigned to receive an oral willow bark extract with either 120 mg (low dose) or 240 mg (high dose) of salicin, or placebo, in a 4-week blinded trial. In the last week of treatment, 39 still showing benefit at the end of 12 months despite having stopped the treatment. That lipoic acid helps in several kinds of neuropathies suggest that it is worth trying in others as well, as it is quite benign and not very expensive.

SAM-e is a nutrient produced from trimethylglycine (betaine) in combination with multiple nutrients including B vitamins, folate, and inositol. It was initially tested and found to be effective in treating depression. Researchers also noted as an aside that it improved patients' arthritis as effectively as anti-inflammatory medications (NSAIDS). A number of studies were done including one which gave 600 mg a day for 2 weeks followed by 400 mg daily for 2 years. Pain and stiffness decreased within one week and the improvement continued throughout the two-year trial. A study which reviewed seven other studies was inconclusive. A major problem with SAM-e is that it is not stable and breaks down easily, with many products not really delivering what they claim. In addition, it is quite expensive. An alternative that I prefer is to use the nutrients needed to make SAM-e in your body. Doing this in several patients (using the nutrients found in the Energy Revitalization System vitamin powder) resulted in increased blood levels of SAM-e similar to those found by taking 400-800 milligrams daily.

What Else Should I Keep in Mind for Pain?

As noted above, pain is the body's way of trying to get your attention. In addition to asking for nutritional support, pain also can be a sign that the patient needs 8+ hours of deep sleep a night, hormonal support, and to treat any underlying infections (especially yeast, parasites, and sinusitis). These and a host of other natural remedies (and how to tailor them to specific situations) are discussed at length in my book Pain Free 1-2-3! and previous articles. See our SHINE Treatment Protocol for more information on over 200 available treatments (by category), including dosing and other patient instructions. This will give you detailed information on the different therapies available for each problem and how to use them.

With so many safe and effective natural remedies available for pain, it is no longer necessary for over 50 million Americans to be in chronic pain, and tens of thousands to die each year from NSAIDs and other pain medications! Isn't it time for you to be Pain Free?