Showing posts with label spoonie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spoonie. Show all posts

Sunday, February 3, 2013

10 Ways To Help Out Your Chronically Ill Friend

This is a fantastic post written by Jenna at http://fibromyalgiaproblems.tumblr.com/ 

1. Don't pull away when they talk about their illness.
Especially if they’re recently diagnosed, they’re not doing it for attention. They’re not doing it for pity, they’re doing it because a diagnosis and an illness are a HUGE thing in a sick person’s life, it’s something to talk about. Just listen, you really don’t have to say anything else. Just be someone they can talk to. 

2.  Do research about their Illness/Illnesses.
Nothing is harder than trying to explain what it’s like dealing with a chronic illness to a healthy person. It’s like explaining color to a blind person. If you know what illness they have, do some research, find out what it is, what symptoms they deal with, and even how other people with the same illness deal with it and describe it. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. 

3. Offer help 
Okay, this one gets complicated. You certainly don’t want to make your ill friend feel bad about not being able to do things. Also, we tend to refuse help. Not always out of pride, but out of fear that people will get tired of helping us or dealing with us.(Like they often do!) So, if you know that something is hard for them(lifting objects, opening doors, opening bottles, carrying groceries) offer help in a way that makes it clear you really want to help, not that you “feel obligated” and also, if your friend says they can handle something, let them. Yes opening bottles hurt, but sometimes we get so frustrated with what we can and can not do that we’re wiling to put up with some pain because we just want to do something for ourselves if we can manage it.

4. Accompany them to Doctors Appointments, or offer to help schedule appointments.
 Scheduling doctors appointments is *such* a hassle with chronic illnesses. Most of us see many doctors, or need to see many doctors, so it can be hard calling all around trying to schedule appointments.
Doctors appointments are also a stressful thing, and it can be nice to have a friend accompany you. It is also hard for many sick people to drive to their own appointments  Your friend may not want you in the exam room with them, but offering to drive them and sit with them in the waiting room could be a *HUGE* help.

5. Understand that they may need to cancel plans last minute, and be okay with rescheduling.
Chronic illnesses are often so unpredictable. We can be doing okay one minute, and in excruciating, unable to move pain the next. Just remember your friend isn’t canceling to stand you up, but because they really need to. Or, remember that sometimes we can’t plan things in the first place. It’s not that we don’t want to go out with friends, we really, really do, but sometimes we’re not healthy enough to have time left over from work or school or doctors appointments or just cooking/cleaning to do anything else.  

6. Go to them, rather than them having to get out. 
Getting out of the house always is hard with a chronic illness. It’s hard to drive, it’s hard to walk far, it’s hard to sit in uncomfortable chairs, it’s hard to be away when we might need our self-care resources we have at home and could need if our health takes a turn for the worse, and it’s hard going places where you don’t know what to expect. Instead of trying to go out to dinner or to a movie or something, go visit them at home and bring take out or cook food, and rent a movie, just have a more quiet night where you can still spend time without your friend having to straining their health. 

7. Try to match their level of humor about their illness.
Some people don’t joke about their illness, so obviously this doesn’t apply so much with them, but a lot of us do. I’m sarcastic ALL the time about little things, I’m constantly joking about my illness, and usually it just weirds my healthy friends out. I still remember the first time a friend make a funny comment about an illness, I take a lot of salt for low blood pressure, and we were watching a documentary talking about how the Mediteranian Sea will eventually be a salt desert, and she said “Jenna! You should live there!” 

8. Don't insist they the new "Miracle Cure."
We try a lot of treatments. Most of them don’t work, or do much at all. We get tired of hearing “Oh my aunt’s sister’s cousin had your illness and drank vinegar-water and now she’s all better! I’m sure it would work for you!” because chances are we’ve tried it and it didn’t work, or we’ve tried something similar and know it won’t work. If you’re doing research or come across a treatment, now and then, it’s okay to say “Have you ever heard of____?” But don’t chastise someone for having a reason not to try that treatment, whatever it is.

9. Don't assume they'll get better.
I know it’s hard to see someone you care about have to be sick all the time, and to know they’re not going to get better. It’s hard for us too. But that’s life, and it just needs to be accepted. You have to accept the fact that there is no cure for most chronic illnesses. That’s why we call them chronic. We don’t have to give up trying to find solutions for certain symptoms, but there aren’t any real “fixes.” In most cases, we just aren’t going to be healthy again, ever.

10. Remember they're still just people.
Sick people always talk about not letting their illness “define them.” It becomes a huge part of your life, obviously. When your friend wants to talk about their illness, let them. When it comes up, be okay with talking about it. But don’t bring it up all the time. We can never “forget” we’re sick, but sometimes it’s nice to act normal and healthy. You have a friend with an illness, but that isn’t all they are, they’re still your friend- a person with so, so much more to them than what they deal with.

aand also: READ THE SPOON THEORY!
It’s a brilliant description of how we have to think and plan our lives around illnesses.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

It's been awhile...

It's been a while since I have written in this blog. So much has gone on and happened, and I'm exhausted just thinking about all I need to update on. So, I'm just going to touch base on some of the most important things right now.

Dan and I have broken up, as in for good. It happened in October. It completely broke my heart, and I didn't think I was going to survive and make it. I really didn't. He is now back in Massachusetts, and I am still here in the apartment. I miss him, but I miss him more as a friend then anything else.

I am seeing someone else now. His name is Randy, and he has been wonderful to me so far. He truly cares and he does so much for me. I worry that all of my problems will eventually wear on him, as that always seems to happen, but I'm trying not to think that way. I really love him, he's so wonderful.

My body is in horrid shape. Due to transportation and money issues, I have not been able to get to any of my appointments. It sucks because I had finally gotten a good medical support team down here, and was getting what my body needed. So I'm not doing so well physically now, but hopefully we'll figure something out soon. I know Randy is trying to help me figure it out as well.

That's just a quick note to get you all caught up. I will try to do better with this blog again, but please bear with me.

Hope everyone is doing well!

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Blog Award Recieved!

As some of you may have noticed, there is now another image on the side of my blog. It is for being number 35 in their list of "100 Best Sites for Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Information." This was given to me by a company called VitaSciences. While although it appears they are trying to sell a product, it is also very wonderful that they took the time to make this list to help us find information.


It seems as though this list was compiled back in May in honor of Fibromyalgia Awareness Week. (I always thought it was just a day, but what do I know?) However, I did not get an email about this until just a few days ago.

Here is an excerpt from the page: "In honor of Fibromyalgia Awareness Week, we’ve scoured the web and compiled a list of 100 great websites for people who suffer from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS), Fibromyalgia and other chronic pain disorders. Below is a conglomeration of personal blogs, government sites, forums and medical pages- some are funny and insightful, some provide lots of great tips on coping with the pain in your life, and some are inspirational…all are gems that we know you will appreciate."

Lastly, here is where you will find the complete list: 100 Best Sites for Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Information

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Stress Overload

I am completely and 100% in stress overload mode. If there was something to go wrong, it has in the past few days.

The biggest problem, is, of course related to my medical care. My insurance copays are going up, like ridiculously. Some of my medications are going to be $75! My doctor copays are going up a lot too, different amounts depending on what type of doctor/specialist they are.

I have finally started to get a network of doctors/specialists and medications to get me feeling at least a bit better, and now I may lose all of that because I can't afford the huge copays. I already owe hundreds of dollars to various medical places.

I can not get any kind of assistance because I am a college student. (Apparently that makes you ineligible for anything and everything here in Maine.) I can not seem to find a job that I can physically handle.

This is just too upsetting. I've been depressed, stressed, and anxious since finding this out. I don't know what to do, and all I feel like doing lately is crying. It just isn't fair.

This is probably a crappy explanation of it all, but I just don't have enough in me right now to write a proper post. Feel free to ask questions. Or give advice, I'd greatly appreciate that!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

ER Trip and Another Worry

So last night, after dinner, I had trouble breathing. It felt like my throat was swollen. I kept feeling like I had to swallow, and if I didn't, I felt like I was suffocating. But when I did swallow, it was nearly impossible to gain my breath back. After awhile, I was pretty much hyperventilating. So off to the ER we had to go. We get there and tell them what is going on. The ER was a madhouse and so I still had to wait for ages. I was getting dizzy and lightheaded. Eventually, (and seriously I had to wait longer then I should of when I couldn't freakin' breathe!) they got me back and into a bed. The visit was horrible and they were slower then ever before. But to make a long story short, there was some inflammation in my throat but nothing overly major. They gave me two days worth of Prednisone in order to bring the swelling down. They also gave me a nebulizer treatment which helped my breathing. Lastly, they gave me an albuterol inhaler to go home with, in case something like that happened again. (Of course, it took about 45 minutes to get the albuterol from their pharmacy.)

It feels better today. Swallowing is still a tiny but difficult, but much better then last night, and I can breathe normal again, which is obviously a good sign. Here's the funny thing though. I feel so much better in general. (With the exception of not much sleep last night, which they told me might happen due to the medicine in the nebulizer and the prednisone.) But I feel less pain, more energy, I feel less heat sensitive, etc. This actually scares me. The only connection I see is the prednisone, and that worries me that maybe I have something autoimmune. But then again, it's probably too soon to tell and it could just be a coincidence. Who knows.

On the good news side, I am seeing a new PNP on Monday, who is going to help me find a new PCP. Although I do still feel guilty about doing it, it's what I need to do for myself. It has just gotten to the point where I don't see any other options.

Well, that's it for now.

Hope everyone is having a spoonful day :)

Friday, July 15, 2011

"healKick: Support and Friendship" - Guest Post by Rachael




First of all, I want to thank Sarah for letting me hijack her blog today. My name is Rachael and I met Sarah at healKick.com which just so happens to be exactly what I want to talk to you about today! It’s a social network for young people who have neuro-immune illnesses like Fibromyalgia, it’s like a support group but it’s so much more.

Have you ever felt alone, like no one understands what you’re going through? Have you lost friends since becoming sick? Do you struggle to find peers you can relate to? This used to be the story of my life. I have been at least marginally sick for the majority of my life but the symptoms didn’t interfere with my life until I was 14. After being diagnosed with Fibro (and other conditions) it was hard not to feel completely different than my peers. After all, they could seemingly do whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted. They didn’t seem to suffer after a late night or ache for days after overdoing physical activity. I tried my hardest to fit in, to suck it up, to do what they did. In the end I had to take a step back and realize that in order to heal I had to take time off and let my body have a break. The hardest part for me was that this break involved giving up work and school, two things that previously defined me. Without them, I didn’t know who I was. Without them, I didn’t relate anymore and I lost the close friendships that I previously had.

I didn’t know if I was ever going to have close friends again until the day that I stumbled across healKick. I had tried other online groups before but never felt a connection to the usernames and comments. I wanted more human connection and I especially wanted to connect with people my own age on levels other than a shared medical problem. This site is so special to me because for the first time I feel like I am being validated as an entire person, not just a syndrome or condition. The site allows people to go beyond a conversation about shared symptoms or a new treatment and develop genuine friendships.

At the risk of sounding like an advertisement, I want to mention a few of the things that make healKick unique and wonderful. We have an instant messaging chat bar that allows you to talk to anyone on the site in a group chat or private chat. Recently we added a group voice/video chat feature that accommodates up to 20 members at the same time. You can choose the site’s language which allows users around the world to connect with one another. There is a member map you can search to find people in your area. Also there is a points system so you can earn prizes just by being an active member of the site. And every Friday we host a virtual movie night where everyone watches the same movie and then uses the IM feature to chat about it.

Like I said before, healKick is a social network for young adults 18 to 40 with neuro-immune illnesses. There are many people on the site with Fibro, but we also have members with ME/CFS, Chronic Lyme, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Lupus, Sarcoidosis, Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, Multiple Sclerosis, Multiple Chemical Sensitivity, and Mold-related Illness.
It’s a place that goes above and beyond a traditional support group by encouraging members to share about their lives beyond their illness and their personality rather than just their symptoms. Regular support group’s members are from all stages of life but have the same condition. HealKick is different because it brings together people with different but similar conditions who all are in the same stage of life.

If you have ever felt isolated because of your illness, you don’t have to anymore. Come join us today at healKick. It helped me and I hope it will help you just as much.

I can’t wait to meet you!

Friday, June 10, 2011

Update On My Knee

So as you all know, I have been having problems with my knee for forever now. It looks like they have finally figured out what it is, but it also looks like some of the problems may actually be chronic.

The official name of my diagnosis is Pes Anserine Bursitis. It basically means that the pes anserine bursa (located right below the knee) is inflamed. While although it can be calmed down, it can also flare again whenever it pleases. When it flares it is some of the worst pain I've ever been in, even worse then most of my fibro pain. It gets to the point where just bending and straightening my knee hurts, let alone walking.

My physical therapist, Scott, has been working hard on getting it to calm back now. I don't know the names of all the different kinds of treatments he has been trying, but they are seeming to help, at least some. I just hope I don't have to go back for a cortisone shot, those things kill me, in so many ways.

I'm really not excited...just another diagnosis to add to my list, and yet even another one that can flare whenever it wants....*sigh*

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Have you seen this?


In case you haven't seen it, I wanted to show you all the tattoo I got for Fibromyalgia awareness. A purple ribbon with the word HOPE also in purple. We all need to keep hope, keep hope that one day there will be a cure. And of course, we all need to keep hope in general.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Update-ish.

Well, I still seem to suck at updating this blog. Go figure, right?

So, my heart murmur is gone. Apparently it was the Trazadone that was causing it. Isn't that a scary thought? A medication that they gave me to help me sleep was screwing with my heart. I always knew that medications could be dangerous, but wow, I've never really had it happen to me.

A lot has gone on this month, and there is a lot that I really just don't want to talk about on here. Some of you know what's gone on, and I really want to thank those of you who have been there for me through it all. I really appreciate it. You all are the best! And in case you're wondering, I'm pretty sure things are getting better.

My friends Nicole & Jess came up this past weekend and it was a lot of fun. They live in NY/NJ so I don't get to see them very often. We did a lot of touristy stuff and had a good time. Boy did I pay for it afterwards though! I think I'm STILL in a bit of a fibro flare from it. But it really was worth it. I think that sometimes we have to do what we want/need and then pay for it later. I can't live my life doing nothing. I really think I would absolutely go crazy.

I'm starting back into counseling. I finally found a place that will help me out with my ridiculous copays. I met with Jodi today for the first time, and she seems awesome. She actually has Crohn's Disease herself, so she understands chronic illness, which is amazing. Not that I'm happy she's chronically sick herself, but it helps so much that she completely understands. I'm going to be seeing her weekly, and I'm actually happy about this. I hope to get myself feeling better.

Well, I guess that's it for now. Hope everyone is doing well!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Nervousness

My next appointment with my regular doctor is tomorrow. I'm not usually nervous about my appointments, but this one I am.

At my last appointment, I asked him for a referral to a rheumatologist because my fibro is not even close to under control. My fatigue is ridiculous, not much of anything helps me sleep, and I'm constantly in pain. I have to do something to try and feel better, as much as I can. He basically flat-out refused and just told me I needed to have weight loss surgery, and that would cure about 90% of my fibro issues. This is complete bullshit! There are people who are very skinny that still have fibro, and besides, I've been losing weight slowly on my own anyways, and that's the healthier way to do it. This has frustrated me to no end.

It made me think that I should find a new doctor, which I have been trying to do. But, different factors, mostly my insurance, is making it incredibly difficult. Only certain doctors are covered, plus I'd have to switch to the new doctor right away, before I even got to talk to them. That makes me completely uncomfortable. What if a new doctor would be just as bad or worse? And all my referrals would be missed up, my scripts would be messed up, etc. So basically my insurance is just making a difficult situation even more difficult.

So tomorrow is my appointment with him. I am going to tell him that I am not doing the weight loss surgery. I've heard enough about it to scare me. And apparently you can't take your meds for a while after? No way. I refuse. I'd never function then. I'd have migraines 24/7, my trigeminal neuralgia would flare constantly, my anxiety level would be insane, I'd have so much pain, and would never sleep. No, I absolutely refuse. I don't know what he'll say or do after I tell him this. I want to ask again for the referral, but I don't know how to go about it. I don't know to convince him. *sigh*

Monday, January 24, 2011

"How To Be Sick" - Review and Quotes

I just finished reading "How To Be Sick" by Toni Bernhard. This book is a wonderful inspirational book for those of us who are chronically ill. It is based on a lot of Buddhist beliefs but even if you are not Buddhist it can still work for you. It applies to all of us. There are wonderful tips to help get us through this new life of our's. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is chronically ill. I'm gonna leave this with a few quotes from the book that I found especially inspiring.

"You know this is the way it is. You were born and are subject to change, disease, and ultimately death. It happens differently for each person. This is one of the way it's happening to you."

"Without the bitterest cold that penetrates to the very bone, how can plum blossoms send forth their fragrances all over the universe?"

"I work on treating thoughts and moods as wind, blowing into the mind and blowing out. We can't control what thoughts arise in the mind (Telling yourself not to think about whether you'll feel well enough to join the family for dinner is almost a guarantee that it's exactly what you will think about!) And moods are as uncontrollable as thoughts. Blue moods arise uninvited, as does fear or anxiety. By working with this wind metaphor, I can hold painful thoughts and blue moods more lightly, knowing they'll blow on through soon - after all, that's what they do."

"The very activities that bring us the greatest joy are also the activities that make our condition worse. This was a bitter pill for me to swallow; it still is sometimes."

"Just as we condition our bodies in different ways through exercise or lack of it, so we also condition our minds. Every mind state, thought, or emotion we experience repeatedly becomes stronger and more habituated. Who we are as personalities is a collection of all the tendencies of mind that have developed, the particular energy configuration we have cultivated."

"May I be peaceful. May I have ease of well-being. May I reach the end of suffering.....and be free."

"If someone curses us and we have no feelings of self the incident ends with the spoken words, and we do not suffer. If unpleasant feelings arise, we should let them stop there, realizing that the feelings are not us....if we do not stand up to the line of fire, we do not get shot, if there is no one to receive it, the letter is sent back."

"When people say, "Ajahn, let's go for a beautiful walk," fine I'll go. If they don't ask, that's fine too. I don't expect a walk to be any more satisfying than sitting alone. It could be hot or windy out there. If people bring me delicious food, great. If they don't, great. I need to diet anyway. If I'm feeling good, that's okay. If I'm sick, that's okay too. It's a great excuse to lie down."

"In mind, I understand that the essence of equanimity is accepting life as it comes to us without blaming anything or anyone - including ourselves."

"If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace. If you let go completely, you will know complete peace and freedom. Your struggles with the world will have come to an end."

"Thoughts are just there, like the air around us. They arise but are arbitrary and not reliable. Most of them are just rubbish, but we believe them anyway."

"Language...has created the word "loneliness" to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word "solitude" to express the glory of being alone."

"If you're suffering due to being alone so much, it might help to recognize that being alone in and of itself is not necessarily a negative experience. It's a neutral state - to which we add the desire for things to be other than they are (for example, to have company)."

"Lonely is a funny thing. It's almost like another person. After a while it will keep you company if you let it."

"In sickness or in health, my heartfelt wish is that you be peaceful, have ease of well-being, reach the end of suffering, and be free."


Friday, August 13, 2010

Life goes on.

This has not been the funnest of weeks. I mean, there have been worse ones, but this one was just up there.

So, the worst part was Tuesday night. Tuesday night, I took all my nighttime meds as usually, including my Lunesta (sleeping pill) and went to bed. Unfortunately, sleep was just not in my cards apparently. It was bad. I laid in bed for hours, just trying to sleep, but it wouldn't happen. Then, after awhile, I ended up quite sick. Like vomitting sick. Apparently, when you take a sleeping pill and it doesn't wear off, it makes you quite sick. So that was not fun. Then, around 9am or so, I got even sicker. Like weak, dizzy, nauseous, exhausted, extreme pain, etc. And it was so bad that I all I could do was lay in bed, I could barely move. And I couldn't seem to fall asleep. Eventually, I did for like 2 hours. To say that the rest of Wednesdeay was a day from hell, would be an understatement.

Luckily, I've gotten more sleep since then. But everything is so damn stressful right now. Money issues would be the worst. We just don't have the money we need for everything. We're trying so hard, and we've gotten better at not "wasting" money, but still, ends never seem to meet. I need to find a job I can handle, preferably a work from home job, but this just does not seem to be happening, and it's SO damn frustrating. I just want things to work out.

I'm trying not to, but I feel like I am losing hope. I am losing in hope in ever feeling better. I am losing in hope in things working out finanically. I am losing hope in things working out period. But without hope, seriously, whatever am I going to do?

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Fibromyalgia Awareness Day

So, today is May 12th, Fibromyalgia Awareness Day. (And as a sidenote, I'm annoyed that I just had to add fibromyalgia to my computer's dictionary.)

I'm not doing much for awareness this year. I have my awareness t-shirt on, but I'm not really leaving the house today. I have no real need to. Last year, I cut up ribbons and made purple ribbons and passed them out to various places. Could of done that this year, but quite frankly, I just don't have the energy.

Ahhh fibro. What to say about it? What to say about a disease that has literally taken my life away? A disease that has made me feel much older then I am? A disease that has changed everything I've ever known?

It has completely and absolutely changed everything for me. I'm 21 years old, and most days I feel like I am at least 80. I have a hard time going out or doing fun things that I used to do, my body just can't handle it. I'm in constant pain, worse pain then I could have ever even imagined before it, and am so exhausted, no matter how much or how little I sleep. My life is not my own anymore, it has been taken over by some kind of horrible monster. A monster who has taken my life away, and left me with this, which sometimes I can't even call a life. Most days it just doesn't feel like it.

But I'm not gonna give up. I can do this. There is hope. I must remember that. Someday, things will get better. Right?

#Fibromyalgia Awareness Day 2010

Sunday, February 28, 2010

A Letter From Fibromyalgia

A LETTER FROM FIBROMYALGIA

Dear Miserable Human Being,

Hi, my name is Fibromyalgia, and I'm an invisible chronic illness. I am now ‘velcroed’ to you for life. Others around you can't see me or hear me, but YOUR body feels me. I can attack you anywhere and anyway I please. I can cause severe pain, or if I am in a good mood, I can just cause you to ache all over.

Remember when you and Energy ran around together and had fun? I took Energy from you and gave you Exhaustion. Just try to have fun now! I also took Good Sleep from you and in its place gave you Fibro Fog (a.k.a.)Brain Fog.

I can make you tremble internally or make you feel cold or hot when everyone else feels normal. Oh yeah, I can make you feel anxious or depressed, too. If you have something planned, or are looking forward to a great day, I can take that away too. You didn't ask for me. I chose you for various reasons: that virus you had that you never quite recovered from, or that car accident, or childbirth, the death of a loved one, or maybe it was those years of abuse and trauma.

Well, anyway, I'm here to stay! I hear you're going to see a doctor who can get rid of me. I'm ‘ROFL’ (rolling on the floor laughing)! Just try! You will have to go to many, many doctors until you find one who can help you effectively. In fact, you'll see many doctors who tell you ‘it’s all in your head’ (or some version of that). If you do find a doctor willing to treat this ‘non-disease’, you will be put on pain pills, sleeping pills, and energy pills. You will be told you are suffering from anxiety or depression, given a TENS unit, told if you just sleep and exercise properly, I will go away. You'll be told to think positively, poked, prodded, and most of all, you will not be taken seriously when you cry to the doctor how debilitating life is for you every single day!


Your family, friends, and coworkers will all listen to you until they just get tired of hearing about how I make you feel, and that I'm a debilitating disease. Some of them will say things like "Oh, you're just having a bad day", or "Well, remember, you cant expect to do the things you used to do 20 years ago," not hearing that you said "20 DAYS ago"! Some will just start talking behind your back, while you slowly feel that you are losing your dignity, trying to make them understand, especially when you are in the middle of a conversation with a ‘normal’ person, and can't remember what you were going to say next!


In closing, you've probably figured out that the ONLY place you will get any real support and understanding in dealing with me is with Other People With Fibromyalgia! They are the only ones that will understand your complaints of unrelenting pain, insomnia, fibro fog, the inability to perform the everyday tasks that ‘normal people’ take for granted.
Remember, I'm stuck to you like Velcro – and I expect we'll be together for the rest of your life.

Have a nice day!! (ROFL),

Fibromyalgia

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Pain....and other things...

Ok, so I suppose its time for a new update, since it's been awhile.

Last week was pretty much same 'ol same 'ol. I ended up going to First Care at Maine Med for my knee on Wednesday night. They took x-rays and such and couldn't find anything. The doctor then did an exam, and he said that he thought I had bruised the bone. They wrapped it in an ace bandage, told me it would be 2-3 days til it felt better, and then sent me on my way. Oh man was I in pain.

We got notice from Dan's insurance company that his car was totalled. Not good news at all. So on Thursday we went up to Richmond to get everything out of it, which was actually alot of stuff. I didn't even realize we had that much stuff in his car! And man was that painful on my knee doing all of that work. But Dan was good as usual and didn't make me do more then I felt I could handle. Unfortunately, what I "thought I could handle" was more then what I really could.

We then went to South China for a couple of days since we were right there anyways. We stayed until Saturday and then came back to Portland. During which, my knee was still killing me, and the ace bandage wasn't helping any....in fact I feel like it was making it worse because it was cutting into the skin. (And I didn't even have it that tight!)

This morning I woke up and my knee hurt even WORSE. And it had been 4 days. I knew something wasn't right, so I decided to go back and see another doctor, because I just wasn't ok. So we went to Mercy's FirstCare and saw a doctor. She said the other doctor WAS right, that is a bruised bone, but that it def wouldn't heal within 2-3 days. She said it may be a few weeks. She then gave me a knee immobilizer to use and crutches to use in extreme circumstances. I'm glad that it was nothing serious, and that this doctor had a clue. But man oh man, the pain is so extreme and I don't have anything for it. It's worse then my fibro pain I think. But then again it's hard to tell, because it is probably both acting up.

Sooo on Wednesday I have a doctor appointment. After talking to some people, I have decided that I am SO going to put my foot down and demand a referral to a pain specialist. I don't care that he thinks I don't need to see one. I have been in so much pain for so long now, and none of the fibro meds seem to be helping, so I NEED to do something. And as much as I would hate to do so, if he doesn't oblige I will start looking for another doctor, although like I said, I would hate it if it came down to that.

Well, I guess thats it for now. I hope everyone is doing well! <3

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Fibromyalgia

Fibromyalgia-
The name is so complicated
And so is the disease.
Chronic pain, chronic fatigue,
Those are just the beginning.
Do you know what it feels like
To wake up and feel so much older then you are?
Do you know what it feels like
To not be able to do things everyone else does?
Do you know what it feels like
To not be able to do things you once used to?
Do you know what it feels like
To have the littlest things
Wear you out completely?
Do you know what it feels like
To have no one believe you are sick?
These are all things
That I feel every day.
My body is not my own anymore,
Something horrible has taken it over.
Can I ever win it back again?
Will I ever feel ok?
Will I ever feel normal again?