Thursday, August 6, 2009


The name is so complicated
And so is the disease.
Chronic pain, chronic fatigue,
Those are just the beginning.
Do you know what it feels like
To wake up and feel so much older then you are?
Do you know what it feels like
To not be able to do things everyone else does?
Do you know what it feels like
To not be able to do things you once used to?
Do you know what it feels like
To have the littlest things
Wear you out completely?
Do you know what it feels like
To have no one believe you are sick?
These are all things
That I feel every day.
My body is not my own anymore,
Something horrible has taken it over.
Can I ever win it back again?
Will I ever feel ok?
Will I ever feel normal again?


  1. Nice - I just wish I had answers for you. I was diagnosed 13 years ago, and it's only gotten worse from there (but then, some of that may be because I've been out of treatment for two years - no insurance.)


  2. WOW!That hit the nail on the head.I've always said that fms/cfs is like a monster living inside me,that wants me to hurt all the time.He's also slowly poisoning me from the inside out,so that every inch of me is sick.And for the last 18+yrs.this monster has been wreaking havoc&trying to destroy every single thing that is/was ME!
    I'm so,sorry you are suffering also.Please don't ever forget that you are not alone.No matter how bad this monster wants us to feel&think that we are alone,we can't ever forget that there is strength in numbers.For those of us that feel like we just can't fight anymore,we have to believe that as long as we haven't given up,we are still fighting.

  3. Great post. I feel the same. It's so hard waiting to have a "good" day so that you can function at half of what you used to be.

    There is the old normal and the new normal for me. If I get lucky, balance what I take in (food, meds, environment) perfectly and get a good nights sleep, I might have a better day than what my new normal is. But, that's not what I've come to expect anymore.

    I've had to lower my expectations so that I can accept what my life is now. It hasn't been easy, but I try live in the moment and enjoy what I can do. I try to push the thoughts of what I can't do out of my head. Feeling worthless and guilty hurts both me and everyone close to me because it makes me depressed which leads to me feeling sicker.

    The only advice that I can give to someone in our situation is don't give up the fight to get better, but if you don't get better, don't stop trying to live. Try to make each day about little successes like taking a shower, doing the dishes, walking around the block, hugging your spouse. Positive thoughts can carry you through some pretty bad times.

    Thank you for sharing your post with me.


  4. Those are the exact questions I ask of myself, and of those around me who don't know what I'm going through. I call Fibromyalgia my "beast" or my "demon" that is doing everything it can to wreck my life, hopes, and dreams. I'm determined to find a way to beat it, however. Sometimes it's stronger than I am, but I plan to educate myself enough to suppress this beast.