Friday, August 27, 2010

"Misunderstood" by Mark Emmins (Fibro/CFS Song)

This is an amazing song called "Misunderstood" by Mark Emmins that he wrote for CFS/ME awareness. It applies to Fibro quite well too though. I wanted to share it with all of you, enjoy!

The scars may not show
But the wounds are so deep
Sometimes you never truly see
The pain someone feels
Trapped in the darkness in search of the light
Yet the soul needs to feed
Praying for life to return for me
It's no stranger to you and me
Just want security

It hurts to be touched
And our batteries drained
Confined to the house
Yet our hearts keep on beating
It's not in the mind as our life slips away
Just misunderstood
Just wish for the simple things in life
But you know that's so damn hard
It's so damn hard

Stuck in the darkness but seeking the light
Yet the soul needs to feed
Praying for life to return for me
Loss of hope and loss of friends
I long to be me again
Counted bricks on the walls a million times
Suffering souls
The thing to remember is we're not alone
A simple smile is a giant thing
I long to me again
I long to be free of pain
I long to be free again

It's not in the mind as our life slips away
Just misunderstood
You can't see from outside what's so deep within
Just want security
It's no stranger to you and me

Friday, August 13, 2010

Life goes on.

This has not been the funnest of weeks. I mean, there have been worse ones, but this one was just up there.

So, the worst part was Tuesday night. Tuesday night, I took all my nighttime meds as usually, including my Lunesta (sleeping pill) and went to bed. Unfortunately, sleep was just not in my cards apparently. It was bad. I laid in bed for hours, just trying to sleep, but it wouldn't happen. Then, after awhile, I ended up quite sick. Like vomitting sick. Apparently, when you take a sleeping pill and it doesn't wear off, it makes you quite sick. So that was not fun. Then, around 9am or so, I got even sicker. Like weak, dizzy, nauseous, exhausted, extreme pain, etc. And it was so bad that I all I could do was lay in bed, I could barely move. And I couldn't seem to fall asleep. Eventually, I did for like 2 hours. To say that the rest of Wednesdeay was a day from hell, would be an understatement.

Luckily, I've gotten more sleep since then. But everything is so damn stressful right now. Money issues would be the worst. We just don't have the money we need for everything. We're trying so hard, and we've gotten better at not "wasting" money, but still, ends never seem to meet. I need to find a job I can handle, preferably a work from home job, but this just does not seem to be happening, and it's SO damn frustrating. I just want things to work out.

I'm trying not to, but I feel like I am losing hope. I am losing in hope in ever feeling better. I am losing in hope in things working out finanically. I am losing hope in things working out period. But without hope, seriously, whatever am I going to do?