Not Quite As Bad As I Thought

So my doctor appointment didn't go quite as bad as I thought, though it still wasn't great by any long stretch of the imagination. I told him that I was not ok with the thought of weight loss surgery, and that I would rather try to lose the weight on my own. He didn't seem too pleased, but he agreed. We have a 6 month goal, and I need to try to get to a certain number by then. If I haven't, he wants me to reconsider the surgery. I told him I would, but I still don't think I'll ever go with it.

So I'm gonna try doing my DDR workouts again. I love that they have the workout mode, because it shows progress that I'm making, plus it's not as boring as most exercising can be. I'm still not excited though, because last time I tried this it made me feel so crappy. But I'm gonna try to start out very slowly and slowly build up.

I still didn't get my referral to the rheumy though. But he didn't necessarily say no. What happened was that he didn't even give me the chance. Once we discussed the weight thing, he pretty much assumed the appointment was over and left. But, his receptionist came up with the idea that I should call the rheumy's office and have them send the paperwork down to the dr. So I did just that. Not sure if it's gonna do any good yet, but we'll see.

Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Nervousness

My next appointment with my regular doctor is tomorrow. I'm not usually nervous about my appointments, but this one I am.

At my last appointment, I asked him for a referral to a rheumatologist because my fibro is not even close to under control. My fatigue is ridiculous, not much of anything helps me sleep, and I'm constantly in pain. I have to do something to try and feel better, as much as I can. He basically flat-out refused and just told me I needed to have weight loss surgery, and that would cure about 90% of my fibro issues. This is complete bullshit! There are people who are very skinny that still have fibro, and besides, I've been losing weight slowly on my own anyways, and that's the healthier way to do it. This has frustrated me to no end.

It made me think that I should find a new doctor, which I have been trying to do. But, different factors, mostly my insurance, is making it incredibly difficult. Only certain doctors are covered, plus I'd have to switch to the new doctor right away, before I even got to talk to them. That makes me completely uncomfortable. What if a new doctor would be just as bad or worse? And all my referrals would be missed up, my scripts would be messed up, etc. So basically my insurance is just making a difficult situation even more difficult.

So tomorrow is my appointment with him. I am going to tell him that I am not doing the weight loss surgery. I've heard enough about it to scare me. And apparently you can't take your meds for a while after? No way. I refuse. I'd never function then. I'd have migraines 24/7, my trigeminal neuralgia would flare constantly, my anxiety level would be insane, I'd have so much pain, and would never sleep. No, I absolutely refuse. I don't know what he'll say or do after I tell him this. I want to ask again for the referral, but I don't know how to go about it. I don't know to convince him. *sigh*

Update.

So, I'm gonna try to do better at writing in this blog, let's see how it goes.

Physical therapy is going well. Scott is so knowledgeable and so great. He knows what he is doing, and actually takes the time to explain things. Not only that, he understands fibro, and has actually done a lot of research on it. It's very nice to have someone who understands. I told him that I wish he was a doctor so he could treat my fibro, lol. He's doing great work on my knee as well, I can tell a difference already.

Speaking of my knee, I am so annoyed at the orthopedic surgeon who I have been seeing for my knee. At my last appointment with him, he had told me that it was just bursitis, gave me a cortisone shot, and sent me to PT. Apparently, there is also another issue. My kneecap is out of alignment, meaning that when I bend and straighten my knee, it basically grinds against cartilage that it's not supposed to, hence the pain. The ortho wrote that it in the notes to Scott, but never told me. It annoys me to no end that he didn't tell me everything. Believe me, he's gonna hear about it at my next appointment with him.

I'm also thinking about trying to doctor search for a new primary care doctor, but with my insurance and everything else, it's way more complicated then it should be.

I guess that's about it for now, hope everyone is doing well!