Not Quite As Bad As I Thought

So my doctor appointment didn't go quite as bad as I thought, though it still wasn't great by any long stretch of the imagination. I told him that I was not ok with the thought of weight loss surgery, and that I would rather try to lose the weight on my own. He didn't seem too pleased, but he agreed. We have a 6 month goal, and I need to try to get to a certain number by then. If I haven't, he wants me to reconsider the surgery. I told him I would, but I still don't think I'll ever go with it.

So I'm gonna try doing my DDR workouts again. I love that they have the workout mode, because it shows progress that I'm making, plus it's not as boring as most exercising can be. I'm still not excited though, because last time I tried this it made me feel so crappy. But I'm gonna try to start out very slowly and slowly build up.

I still didn't get my referral to the rheumy though. But he didn't necessarily say no. What happened was that he didn't even give me the chance. Once we discussed the weight thing, he pretty much assumed the appointment was over and left. But, his receptionist came up with the idea that I should call the rheumy's office and have them send the paperwork down to the dr. So I did just that. Not sure if it's gonna do any good yet, but we'll see.

Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Always Waiting.

I feel like lately, I am always waiting. Always waiting for something to happen, for something to work out, for something to become ok. Always waiting.

One thing I am waiting for is for my manager to find us a new contract so I can get back to work. It sucks that our candidate didn't win in the elections and therefore we lost our contract. I really hope he finds something...if he doesn't I don't know what I will do. This job is perfect for me, it's a work from home and I can basically build my own hours. It's perfect for a spoonie. But I just don't know how much longer I can wait. We don't have any money, and things are getting tough. I've looked at "regular" jobs, but I just don't see myself being able to handle any of them. *sigh*

One thing I'm waiting for money for is to get a membership at a pool or a season pass to the beach. Everyone says that swimming is great exercise for fibro, and easier on the body then most other exercises. I need exercise so bad. My body is so weak, and I've gained alot of weight. I need to do something, and I feel like this is the best bet. I just wish it wasn't so damn expensive to do so. Has anyone had any luck finding cheaper ways of doing this? Will you share please?

Another thing I'm waiting for is my thyroid medication to get in and work. I was told it can take 4-6 weeks, and it's been 3 weeks today. There are some days I think it is working, because I can stay up for the whole day....but there are other days when I sleep so much it's ridiculous. I mean sure, I know I'm still going to have some fatigue due to Fibro, but my doctor seems convinced that this is going to actually make a difference, so I'm holding on to the hope. And waiting.

And as much of a downer as this makes me sound...you know what I'm waiting for the most? For things to get better. That's really all I want.